How can Chicory help love addiction? Read on

If we describe someone who is in need of Chicory, traditionally we would go as far as to say they give to get. So there is something definitively transactional about the Chicory state. It could be described as egotistical, as well as self-centred.

Often, Chicory is a remedy that is needed by children when they love attention and will behave poorly when they do not get their way. They need and also demand a lot of attention. They will pull out all the stops to get their whims adhered to, sometimes even becoming unwell; they are born negotiators!

The gaining will always be at the centre of their behaviour, and sometimes it can feel very draining to be around them, as it will be one thing, and then onto another, so it can rather feel like pouring into a bucket that has holes in it.

It can also be found in a parent who is overbearing, always finding something to interfere with or about, sometimes in an overt way, and at other times it is insinuative, and covert, but nothing feels like it has rested there; there will always be some kind of moratorium. It is a possessive love that cannot let go and allow individuation. Whereby even adult children can feel “under their thumb”, and rather than disappoint, they will comply.

Behind the Chicory state, there is a person who is unfulfilled, maybe who has (if an adult) a childhood either lacking or devoid of love, a feeling of not having or being wanted so once love is “found”, letting go of it in any way feels, for them, frightening. So there is huge uncertainty.

It is a major remedy that l prescribe for the heartbreak of unrequited love, both romantically and also for all relationships that feel unrequited. It is extraordinarily healing and helpful for this and brings a deep sense of peace that is unshakeable.

I have often both given it and also taken it for helping instil self-love, as in the positive Chicory state, we can feel and find a fountain of love that is internal and secure, almost as a love that is divine.

Dr Bach described the Chicory state with an archetype of a “universal mother”, a soul state of complete, unequivocal nurture.

It promotes selflessness and dedication to the needs as well as the interests of others, and is the epitome of kindness without provocation.

Those in the Chicory state do love intense emotional relationships and are very warm-hearted people, and invest a great deal of themselves in everything they do. Their love is very special. Joy is felt in the giving of joy.

So this state and its characteristics are hugely positive, but when unfavourably inclined or tipped, love is only offered transactionally, because it then becomes exploitative.

It can be a wonderfully helpful flower to help treat those with narcissistic traits, too. Whether the traits are either overt or covert.

A helpful checklist of the traits of those in need of Chicory:

• Finding forgiveness hard.
• Feeling offended easily.
• Wanting to hold onto bonds and relationships that have had their day.
• Domineering love.
• Egotistical love.
• Fear of losing relationships and love like possessions.
• Anger over not getting their way.
• Escaping to illness.
• Talk of what is owed.
• Mothers who can’t let go.
• Family enmeshment.
• Children who are over-clingy.