Getting surgery ready: building your emotional toolkit

You’ve had your diagnosis. You’ve had your scans, your appointments, and your bloods taken. Now, finally, you have the date of your operation. You may be told by the hospital what to bring to your surgery day, but not always how to emotionally prepare for it.

This guide has been created through my experience of having breast cancer, and I hope that it will be helpful for you. We'll look at both the practical preparations that can make life easier after surgery and simple techniques to support your emotional well-being along the way.

Preparing practically for surgery

The more organised you are before your surgery, the more energy you can focus on healing and recovery.

As a single person without any dependents, the first thing I had to do, even before the surgery was allowed, was to nominate a person to stay with me for the first 24-hours after surgery because of the possible side effects of the general anaesthetic. This person could be the one to take you to and collect you from the hospital, or you can arrange for someone else to do that.

If you have a family, friends or animals who are dependent on you, my advice would be to begin planning as soon as you are able to, even before you get your surgery date.

Much of how you organise your post-op time will depend on the type of surgery you have and the expected recovery period. Be prepared for that timescale to be longer, just in case there are complications. This will be one less thing to worry about should the worst happen.

You will have enough to deal with managing your illness and the actual surgery, so create a “team” to support you. People love to help, but often don’t want to intrude, so they need to be asked or gently invited. You can choose the family and friends you know you can rely on.

Don’t feel awkward about drawing up a physical rota. This is so that you and everyone else know what everyone is doing. Have your team’s contact details written down somewhere everyone can find them, in case anything changes. It would be very helpful to have someone you trust assist you in coordinating this rota prior to your surgery day and in managing it whilst you are in your healing and recovery phase.

How your team can help

First, make a list of what you do over the course of a week. This will give you a good starting point and help you identify where you may need extra support while you recover.

Your team could help with:

• Food shopping and meal preparation: Stocking cupboards and freezers, doing the shopping, or preparing meals in advance that can be frozen and reheated easily.
• Pets: Feeding pets, walking dogs, or caring for animals while you are in the hospital or recovering at home.
• Household tasks: Laundry, cleaning, changing bedding, taking out the rubbish, and other jobs that may be difficult if you're unable to bend, lift, or carry items during recovery.
• Children and family responsibilities: School runs, lifts to activities, and helping with day-to-day family commitments.
• Transport: Taking you to appointments or helping with travel arrangements if you're unable to drive following surgery.
• Supporting elderly relatives: Helping with day-to-day chores or arranging additional support where needed.

A few final preparations

If you haven’t done so and you are employed, talk to your HR department about your sick time and recovery time.

Consider preparing your home (especially for single people) so that everything that you use on a regular basis is on a level surface, so you don’t need to bend or stretch for it.

Choosing how often you want to see visitors, or want to answer the phone calls and let them know. Some people like to have lots of people come to see them, whilst others are more independent and prefer their own company. It is perfectly OK to put a “do not disturb” note on your door when you are home and ignore the phone or emails!

You've now organised the physical practicalities of your pre- and post-operation.

Preparing emotionally for surgery

I have one more thing for you to focus on, and it is often not thought of nor talked about as you get "surgery ready" – how will all this affect you emotionally?

As a well-being practitioner, I was blessed to have tools in my emotional toolkit that helped me, and I share them with you because I know they can help you, too.

How EFT tapping can help

Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as EFT Tapping, is tapping on certain points of your body, called meridians. This is thought to help send a soothing message to the part of your brain (the Amygdala) that is responsible for your fight, flight, and freeze responses. You will, understandably, feel stressed about the upcoming surgery, the waiting in the ward on the day of surgery, and what the outcome will be.  

The brain believes what you tell it, not the other way around (even if you do feel really worried)! For some, tapping can help calm down the nervous system and tell the brain that it is safe. 

Why is this important? When the body is in its fight, flight or freeze state, it releases cortisol and adrenaline. It's the body's natural defence system. However, when you experience an overload of these hormones, it can cause your heart to race, your blood pressure to rise, and your breathing to become more rapid, difficult, and uncomfortable, which will just add to your stress levels. It's OK to tap on one discreet meridian when you are sitting on the ward. Our body will understand even if it's discreet!

Using mindfulness and meditation to stay calm before surgery

Alongside EFT tapping, I used breathing, meditation and mindfulness.

You've probably heard this before: "Take long, slow, deep breaths" and wondered how just changing my breathing pattern can make a difference.

The next time you feel a wave of anxiety or panic rise up inside you, try this: breathe in for the count of four, hold your breath for four, breathe out for four and hold for four. Do this four times and notice if you feel calmer; if you don't repeat the cycle for as many times as you need.

The rhythmic breathing works in a similar way to the rhythmic tapping by sending calming signals to your brain.

Once your body feels a bit calmer (you can't do this if your body is in a state of panic), you can try to block out the hubbub of the ward and imagine yourself in a place where you feel safe, calm and happy. Whilst you are there, use all your senses. What can you see, hear, feel, touch, and smell? Your imagination is a powerful thing and will give your brain a short break, and do something lovely.

Finally, below is a meditation that you can take with you on the day of your surgery:

Releasing the worry on the ward

Breathing in, I know that I am breathing in.

Breathing out, I know that I am breathing out.

Breathing in, I am aware of the noise and the busy ward.

Breathing out, I know I carry a quiet space deep inside me.

Breathing in, I acknowledge my worry about today.

Breathing out, I trust my body, brain and my team to care for me.

Breathing in, I am present in this very moment.

Breathing out, I am safe, I am held, and I am at peace.

Using some of these techniques together can help you move from a state of panic to peace.

The main thing is that when your surgery day arrives, you will be prepared both physically and emotionally. You will have the support of your team and emotional toolkit, which will allow you to spend your pre- and post op time resting and recovering.