3 ways EFT can help release judgement from others

Have you ever felt judged? Maybe nothing was even said aloud, but it just felt uncomfortable and your mind was telling you a different story. Ruminating like this can really send you in a downward spiral of self-criticism, and it can often feel hard to get out of this negative self-talk.


This article explains the transformative power of emotional freedom techniques (EFT) and how it can release those feelings, leaving you with unwavering confidence in who you are, no matter what people say or think about you. Having dealt with anxiety myself for five years, I found various ways to heal and now I support others to do the same.

What is EFT?

EFT stands for emotional freedom techniques, often called tapping or EFT for short. Self-applied tapping on energy points located on our face, upper body, and hands has a calming effect on the amygdala in the brain, which reminds the brain we are safe and can relax now, enabling us to let go of fear, worry, stress, anxiety, etc. The tapping points are:

  • side of the hand
  • inner corner of the eyebrow
  • outer corner of the eye
  • just under the eye
  • under the nose
  • on the chin (just beneath your lip)
  • collar bone
  • side of the ribs (bra level)
  • and, finally, the top of the head.

Here are three mini-story examples of using EFT to release those judgments. How we can use EFT in the present moment right when it's happening, how to use it to clear past emotional experiences and memories which may be adding to your current feelings today. And finally, I'll describe how we can start to tap to pre-empt our triggers before they next occur.

Tapping in the present moment

You pop to the shop on a Sunday, you are relaxed and comfortable! Suddenly, you see someone you didn't like from school days. Woah, your brain goes into overdrive: "Why didn't I brush my hair, why did they look me up and down? I look a mess, I wish I never went out now." You've gone from happy and chilled on your Sunday, to feeling like rubbish!

Your brain has hijacked you, but rather than spending the rest of the afternoon feeling flustered and shaken, you could jump back in the car or visit the toilets and start to tap. Using EFT after an event like this can be an amazing reset and help you release those uncomfortable feelings.

EFT can also be used on a deeper level to let go of the emotional ties you have to that person, and why you care so much about what they think, while simultaneously not liking them anyway. I encourage you to find your own words to express how you feel, but a suggestion for a tapping statement could be "Even though I feel awful they saw me, I feel shaken, I look a mess, but, I love and accept how I feel." Use your own words, keep tapping until you feel more relaxed.

Tapping for a past experience

You've jumped into bed all ready to snuggle down, your mind starts to cycle through the events of the day. Instead of focusing on the good time had at the family dinner, you think about the fact you had to sit with Aunt Mildred... she didn't say anything rude to you today but you were on edge because she normally does speak her mind a bit too freely. You remember that time she made a comment about your weight, you start to feel bad about yourself and angry at her. She may not have said anything today but boy do you remember that time she did!

You can start to tap now, with those words ruminating in your mind, acknowledging exactly how you feel out loud or in your mind as you tap through all the points. It's powerful to acknowledge your true feelings. On a deeper level, there is work here to be done, working with a practitioner to release old wounds, to work on releasing why you care so much about what people say and to learn how to comfortably set boundaries with Aunt Mildred so that you don't feel triggered and can stand up for yourself more easily when needed.

Here is a suggested tapping statement: "Even though she made me feel awful about my weight and I still feel annoyed, I really acknowledge this is how I feel right now and love myself anyway." Keep tapping until you feel calmer. If a new positive spin comes to mind, then switch the words and do some positive tapping. Say whatever comes to mind.

Tapping for future events

You've got a big event coming up, which you are excited about, but there is one person you wish wasn't going. You start to feel nervous and overthink interactions with them, coming up with all sorts of elaborate scenarios in your mind. You start to feel it in your body, maybe flustered, sick, shaking, a knot in your stomach, or however it shows up for you.

These are all tap-able symptoms, it's a sign that your body is holding onto past memories and experiences, maybe you remember why you feel this way about this person, or maybe you don't, but your body certainly does. Be honest and express exactly how you feel as you tap through the points. Remember to include your body sensations as part of your tapping.

Suggested tapping statement: "Even though I feel nervous about this event, my hands are shaking, I don't want to see them, I acknowledge this is how I feel right now." Keep tapping through the points repeating exactly how you feel and what sensations show up for you. Sensations may change or move as you are tapping, acknowledge that and keep tapping as long as you feel comfortable doing it.

If anything here resonated with you and you'd like to try EFT on a deep level to make lasting changes, then feel free to reach out to ask any questions or to book a session via my Therapy Directory profile. I look forward to supporting and empowering you to regain your power and live confidently in your own life.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Therapy Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Wilstead, Bedfordshire, MK45
Written by Kelly Shadbolt, Accredited Certified EFT Practitioner
Wilstead, Bedfordshire, MK45

Kelly Shadbolt is a certified EFT Practitioner, accredited through EFT International. With a passion for empowering others, Kelly specialises in supporting individuals to release anxiety, overcome self-limiting beliefs, and cultivate confidence in themselves. She is there to walk beside you because she knows you have power hidden within.

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