Get to know yourself better

If you’re reading this article then either you’re interested in self-enquiry, or you’re intrigued to see if you can learn more than you already know. The truth is that there is always more to learn, and therefore more adventures to discover about ourselves.


For example, did you know that the majority of our brain is almost always active?*(busting the myth that we only use 10%). Or that the studies done on neuroplasticity show that we can move from a place of depression to a place of joy just through meditation?**

Physically speaking, the way that our bodies process trauma is to attach to the emotion of memory and the physical state our body was in. It then produces the same proteins within the body to replicate the same thought pattern that triggers that same response. This process, understandably, is why it’s so hard for people who have suffered from these experiences to move on from the cycle of their pain.

There are so many things that we can learn every day that we didn’t know the day before. And it’s the same with the connection to ourselves. So, how do we do it? How do we actually get to know ourselves better?

Getting to know ourselves is a life long journey... However, we can still tap into that compass wherever we are in that moment, and ask ourselves, "How do I feel now?"

Finding stillness

The first step is to find stillness, somewhere away from the noise of it all. Somewhere that we won’t feel the distraction of comparison, the emotions of others, or the visuals of a to-do list. We need to put time aside and commit to ourselves in a moment of stillness.

Once this stillness is achieved - and by the way, this doesn’t have to be a yoga mat/special cushion in a fancy room, all you require is a space - then with one hand on your heart and one on your stomach, you can breathe. Conscious of your breath, you hear thoughts racing by, feelings of discomfort and impatience. And then, ask yourself a simple question: "What is my body feeling right now?" or "How am I doing today?". Enquire with your physical body as to what is going on inside.

Learning to listen to the body

Our bodies tell us so much about what we need. They are our compass, our own internal guidance system. For example, have you ever walked into a room and suddenly felt very different from how you did moments before entering? Perhaps you are on a first date and spot the person you are walking towards, knowing that you are a confident person, you suddenly feel inferior. Is this just first date nerves, or is this your body telling you something about the kind of exchange you two will have? 

To be clear, this is not about putting self-doubt into your mind and questioning everything you have ever done. It’s about scanning yourself when a feeling arises and asking yourself, why am I feeling this? Does this mean something important or was it just my lunch?

Also, ask yourself this, did you listen? Did you notice at the time, shortly after, or a week later? Being conscious of it in the first place is the answer to so much. Having awareness holds the key to everything. It can turn a ‘no choice’ situation into a day filled with multiple possibilities. Either way, these messages can help guide us to what is best for us in these moments. Try it out next time you aren’t sure about what decision to make. What does your gut tell you? Does your body move forward or away when you think of the possible outcome?

Actioning this knowledge in everyday life

Now you know one way of connecting to yourself, how can you take action with this knowledge? This is the fun part!

Test it out in everyday life. As you go through your day, make your decisions based on what feels right for you. Yes, there is a caveat to this, we also need to take others into consideration. So how about this. Make decisions on what feels right for you, and for the greatest good of all. When we are in service to others, we are really in service to ourselves. The Law of Attraction explains that the energy we put out is the energy we will receive. This not only serves us but the whole world. Imagine offering a feeling of goodness and joy to every person you encounter today. Wouldn’t that be something?

We could also enquire as to why we are seeking this connection. I feel that the reason for us asking is the very reason we need to find a way to connect.

Getting to know ourselves is a life long journey, in fact, I believe it is our journey through life that takes us from uncovering all that we have acquired through the years and checking in with how we feel now, in the moment, to rediscovering our new needs. Of course, this will change over time as our preferences and passions change. However, we can still tap into that compass wherever we are in that moment and ask ourselves, "How do I feel now?"

*According to neurologist Barry Gordon.
**Research from Dr Joe Dispenza’s book, ‘You are the Placebo’.

Understanding and knowing ourselves can have so many benefits to our lives, developing and building on self-love, in particular. Read my article, The journey to self-love through understanding ourselves to learn more.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Therapy Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

Share this article with a friend
Farnham, Hampshire, GU10
Written by Emily Hall, Chi - Reiki Master & Accredited Counsellor
Farnham, Hampshire, GU10

Hi, I'm Emily, a Counsellor and Reiki Master with 10 years experience supporting people with a focus on self-love. Through my energy work, a safe and supportive environment I empower you to live your authentic life with more self-love and awareness.

Show comments

Find the holistic therapist for you


All therapists are verified professionals

All therapists are verified professionals